Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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