just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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