So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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