Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
