Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize