if you like me you must not know who I am
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
