Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
