Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize