Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
we're so committed to being not committed
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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