I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
