He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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