my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
