so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
