Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I intend to get homeless drunk
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize