I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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