I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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