I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
