He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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