Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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