We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
