So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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