he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
