I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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