I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
