You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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