she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
