You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
this just has baby written all over it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
