no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
