I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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