I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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