sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
