Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
