I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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