i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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