It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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