grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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