Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
