If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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