the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
