nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
