is your mom at the bar?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Barsexuality is the new black.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
