I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
