i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
