Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
