I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
