He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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