The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
