Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
