i jhust puked up my retainher.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
