Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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