Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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