if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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