if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
