Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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