so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
