whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
