# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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