he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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