i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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