I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
