How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
there's paper in my vomit.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
