Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
