I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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