ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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